I blinked. I blinked, and now somehow, my perfect 8 pound, 2 ounce newborn baby girl is a 14 month old toddler, and I’m 36 weeks pregnant with baby #2! Now, with just 4 short weeks left to go, we’re quickly preparing for life with two under two.
Since becoming a mom almost 15 months ago, life has been a whirlwind. A wonderful, beautiful, love filled whirlwind. Time has never gone so fast, and it’s certainly not slowing down any. Life is crazy over here with a one year old, and things are about to get a whole lot more interesting! Less sleep, more love ❤️
As nervous as I am about being mama to two under two, I’m so looking forward to this little one coming into the world and joining our family. I’m also so looking forward to being able to breath, bend over, and lay down comfortably again!
Here’s how the events of the last 8 months have gone…
I found out I was pregnant again when my daughter was just seven months old. Some of my greatest friends were pregnant again just a short while after having their first… and I secretly thought they were nuts! Now, we join the nuttiness!
My husband and I tent do things slooowwww. We were together for 12 years before getting engaged, and then took 2 years to plan our wedding. He proposed on our 12 year dating anniversary, and we were married on our 14 year anniversary. It was a year after our wedding that I was pregnant with our daughter. We surely don’t rush into big things, so getting pregnant again so soon after the first definitely caught our family, friends, even ourselves off guard! The reaction that we got from a few of our family members was, “ALREADY?!”
I’ve always known I wanted more than one kid, and my plan was to try for our second baby after Avaya turned one. I thought, I’m going to take this first year to bond with her and re-coup my body before getting pregnant again. I wanted to get back to my pre-pregnancy weight, get fit and strong, and repair my diastatsis recti.
I didn’t go on any form birth control after having Avaya, and thought, well, between breastfeeding, being “careful,” and also the fact that it took at least six months of actually trying to get pregnant the first time, there wasn’t much of a chance of it happening again very soon. I thought, we do want another kid eventually anyway, so if and when it happens, it’s meant to be. I had full faith that it would happen when the time was right.
SURPRISE! The time was right sooner than I had anticipated!
How I Found Out I Was Pregnant Again
In February 2019, around Avaya’s seven month mark, I noticed some things going on with my body. I was about a week late getting my period, but that didn’t really mean much to me because I was still breastfeeding on demand day and night (like 4 times a night), and had only gotten my period back two months prior. I just thought my cycle wasn’t consistent yet. But my extreme sense of smell and B.O…. those were my signs! I remembered this happening when I was first pregnant with Avaya, and here they were happening again.
I would smell things all of the time, things that Aaron couldn’t, like lingering kitchen smells, dirty laundry, or the garbage stinking. Oh, and the smell of myself! 🤭 I was sweating SO much, and my armpits stank! I couldn’t stand the smell of myself, was putting deodorant on multiple times a day, and even had to change my shirt multiple times some days. Luckily, this only lasted a few weeks.
One morning before Aaron left for the day, I jokingly {but not} said, ” I smell pregnant. You’ll have to pick up pregnancy tests while you’re out.” That completely caught him off guard, and he said something along the lines of “Yeah, okay,” and asked if I was serious. He didn’t know what to think, and I quickly changed the subject because I couldn’t believe I was saying it myself.
So, while Avaya and I were out that afternoon, we discreetly picked up a box of pregnancy tests.
When we got home, I brought her upstairs with me, sat her down on the bedroom floor just outside of the bathroom, and I took a test. I laid it face down on the bathroom vanity so I couldn’t read it until the time was up. I picked Avaya up off the floor and paced around the bedroom with her for a couple of minutes. I remember thinking in those moments, we’re definitely not ready to have another baby, so this test better be negative! At the same time, I was thinking I would be so sad if it were negative. Many emotions!
When it was time to check the test, I set Avaya back down on the bedroom floor, so she wouldn’t go down with me if I happened to pass out! Clear as day there were two lines. Clear. As. Day. I got down on the floor with her, and in complete shock, amazement, disbelief, and excitement, told her she was going to be a big sister. I told Brody (our dog) he was going to be a big brother again too. It was deja-vu for me and the dog. Then, of course, I took the other test in the box, just to be sure. Same result. Craziness!
I picked Avaya up off the floor and cuddled with her on the bed. After the initial shock, I couldn’t help but feel an overwhelm of guilt – an emotion that I feel guilty even having, but it was there. Guilt, as though I were cheating on my first baby. I mean, I was still coming off my high from being pregnant and giving birth to her. That was all still so fresh to me. I was still learning how to be mom to HER. We still had so many milestones to experience with her. She had just learned to sit up on her own. I didn’t want bringing another baby into our lives to take anything away from her. I didn’t want to make her grow up too fast. I wanted to give her enough time to be the baby of the family. I didn’t want the nausea, the exhaustion, and the aches and pains of another pregnancy to take away any of my time with her. And what about breastfeeding? I didn’t know how being pregnant again would affect me being able to continue breastfeeding her. I hugged her and squeezed her. A baby is a blessing. Growing our family is a blessing. Giving her a sibling is such a blessing. All of this I knew, but at the same time, I felt as if I was taking away her babyhood, if that makes any sense.
At the same time, I felt honored, blessed, and happy knowing that another amazing soul is choosing to join OUR family. He or she is ready to join us, and must know that we’re ready for him or her. What an incredible gift.
I sat there with her and those emotions for a little bit, and again began pacing the house with Avaya on my hip, this time, trying to think of a fun way to tell Aaron when he got home.
When I found out I was pregnant the first time, I waited a day to tell him, because I had to go out to get the perfect thing to surprise him with. The first time around, I boxed up a onesie that said “The Adventure Begins,” along with the book What to Expect When You’re Expecting, and the positive pregnancy test. I wrapped the box with fancy wrapping paper, and gave it to him as a “late anniversary gift.” After opening the gift, we went out to dinner to celebrate.
This time around, I couldn’t keep it in. I was pacing in the kitchen holding the baby when he walked in the door, and I blurted it out. I don’t even know if he had the door shut yet. Welcome home!! 😂 They say things are different after the first baby, and so far, in this pregnancy anyway, we’re finding that to be true.
He didn’t think I was serious, or he was just in shock, so I showed him the positive pregnancy tests.
It took that night and the next day (or 10) for it to sink in, and we eventually went from a state of shock to excitement. Aaron helped me to get over my guilt and realize what a gift this is for Avaya. She’s going to have a brother or sister so close in age, a best friend to grow up with, and do everything with. Trips to Disney. Camping trips. Christmas mornings. First days of school. I started picturing all of the adventures we’d have as a family. A family of 4, with our two kids so close in size and age. It’s going to be great.
It also helped to read threads on the internet from other moms who have gone through the same thing. So many moms shared that they too have children just a year apart, and, in hindsight, they wouldn’t have done it any other way. Once you get through the chaos of the first year, they say, it’s all completely worth it.
Just like when pregnant with Avaya, we kept this pregnancy a secret until week 12. We even took a trip to Florida with family with our pregnancy still a secret. I was nervous that something would happen and I would give the secret away… like morning sickness on the plane or something. I did good though, and nobody had a clue.
We ended up telling our family and friends on Easter. We let Avaya share the news with a “Big Sister” dress I bought on Etsy.
We found out the baby’s gender on Mother’s Day. A midwife at my doctor’s office wrote the baby’s gender on a piece of paper and put it in a sealed envelope. With both of our mother’s, our siblings, nieces and nephew over for Mother’s Day dinner, we had a small reveal. We had a blue balloon and a pink balloon. Together, Aaron, Avaya and I opened the envelope. The paper inside read “Congratulations! It’s a BOY!” Aaron quickly popped the pink balloon with a tack, letting everyone there know we’re having a boy. I was shocked. Aaron and I were both shocked. We don’t have many boys in either of our families, so we thought it was out of our cards.
Looking at it now, this second pregnancy really couldn’t have come at a better time.
In these last 7 months since finding out I was pregnant, Avaya has grown into a toddler. She’s now almost 15 months old… and what a difference between 7 months and 15 months! She is much more independent now, and the way she loves and cares for her baby dolls melts my heart! Every morning, she feeds her doll a bottle, burps it, hugs and kisses it, pushes it around in a stroller, and always wants it with her. She is so nurturing. It is the most adorable thing I’ve ever witnessed. She’s going to be a great big sister!
Another reason this baby is coming at perfect timing is that Aaron is BUSY with his business in the summer time. He’s usually working sun-up to sun-down, even on the weekends. He has a seasonal business, so, hey, ya got to get it when you can, right? That’s much easier to write than to actually live it. Avaya was born in July, so it was pretty much just me, her, and the dog at home when she was a newborn. This baby is due in November, so as long as we don’t get hit with a ton of snow super early in the season, I can expect Aaron to be home with us for the first month or so.
I also got to tell my grandmother before her passing that she was going to have another grandchild. She told me she was so happy I was having them close together. She actually asked me when Avaya was only a couple months old when I was going to have another. I was like “whoa, slow down!” Her and her sister were only a year apart. She said they’ll have so much fun together. Shortly before her passing, I was able to tell her it’s a boy! She had 9 granddaughters, and no grandsons. It made her so happy to know.
If you happened to read Avaya’s birth story, you might know that my sister and I gave birth to our girls the same day…. at the same hospital… just 2 doors down from each other, and 6 hours apart. No, we absolutely did not plan our pregnancies together (we get asked that ALL the time). Well, it’s happening again. Not on the same day this time (hopefully!!), but close. A day after Aaron and I told our families that we’re having another baby, my sister told me she’s pregnant again too. Again, we did not plan it this way! This time, instead of our due dates being 2 days apart, she’s due 3 weeks after me. These cousins are going to be close!
Throughout this pregnancy, it’s been hard for me to imagine loving someone as much as I love my daughter. I mean, she made me a mama, and she’s been my whole world since the day she was born. I know that’s a feeling most mom’s go through before having a second child. I remember having a similar feeling about my dog before Avaya was born. Yes, I was a crazy dog mom, and he was my obsession, but my heart definitely grew and made plenty of room for my daughter! Now, her and the dog are the best of friends. I know that when my son is born, somehow, my heart will double in size, and I will love him tremendously. I feel the love already when looking at his ultrasound pictures, and hearing his little heartbeat ❤️
I love the song Life Changes by Thomas Rhett, and it’s kind of become my theme song throughout this pregnancy!